This post is part of the #WOTY link party
Vision of a limiting belief
As you may recall in ‘my word for 2022‘ post my word this year is VISION.
During May my vision revelation has been into a limiting belief I still seem to be nurturing, buried deeply but obviously not forgotten.
How did this vision into my limiting belief come about?
Well most of April and May have been absorbed with trying to sort out a life admin issue. Plus we have had unrelenting rain which always affects my mood. My usual positive outlook was low.
In a casual meeting with someone I didn’t know very well, the said person made a comment that really triggered a limiting believe I hold about myself. And I allowed it to fester and pull my self worth down.
And the worse thing is that I know this limiting belief I hold is a really silly, irrelevant belief.
What is it you ask?
The person asked what I did for a living and when I explained what I had done for work over the years, their reply was “Oh so you didn’t have a career then”.
As I said above, I let that silly, irrelevant comment in and allowed it to dent my self worth.
After musing on it for a few days I realised:-
- I should have stood up for myself, because I have had a career but perhaps I don’t value it as much as I should.
- The remark came from a fellow mother, who should really have known better about the struggles of working and raising children.
- I am always triggered by societies’ dismissive attitudes to the role of being a care provider, whether that is raising children, caring for the elderly or disabled, or loved ones who are sick. I feel nurses, teachers and care attendants etc are all undervalued in our success driven society.
- Why do I get triggered about not having an identity linked to a career? Again I think this comes down to the value, respect and judgement society attaches to certain jobs.
- The most important realisation –
Life is too short to get hung up on silly comments made by other people.
Thankfully a supportive chat with my husband reminded me of the things I know are really important:
- My family, husband and kids are the most important and greatest success in my life.
- It doesn’t matter a jot what others think of me.
- Sitting down to a meal with my family every night is the greatest gift.
- Being supported by my husband, friends and family shows I am worthy.
- Being healthy and happy.
Coincidentally, whilst I was working through this issue, this quote popped up on my social media.
Again, this really resonated. Holding onto a belief that because I don’t have a career, somehow makes me less than someone else, is stopping me from being free.
It’s time to let go of this belief for good!
How about you? Has anyone recently triggered a limiting belief in you?
If so, take some time to work out what that belief is. Why does it trigger you. How is it holding you back in life.
Just to make sure I have learnt my lesson, the universe provided the following podcast between Ferne Cotton and Minnie Driver immediately after my meltdown. They were talking about the meaning of life. Driver asked ‘do we set the bar (ie. Careers etc) to give our lives meaning because none of us really knows what the meaning of life is. Are we all scared that humans don’t have a meaning? Does our fear of not having a meaning make us set up structures to make us feel safe – i.e. go to school, learn stuff, get a job, get married, have children etc to provide a scaffold that endorses our purpose in life?”
I think Driver may have a point. You can listen to the podcast here.
Regarding my VISION for blogging, I managed to produce a new book review post this month, How to tell if you are a booklover including my book reviews for May.
Let me know in the comments below: Have you been triggered by a limiting belief this month?
Don’t forget to check out the other posts in this link party HERE and on the individual links below.
Donna from Retirement Reflections
Sue from Women Living Well after 50
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Thanks for sharing your insights into identifying a limiting belief. It was interesting to hear someone else’s approach to this! I’ve spent time trying to understand my limiting beliefs and triggers. A big trigger for me, which happened again this month, is not being invited to join in with friend’s activities. Facebook can be horrible about triggering this – twice this month I saw friends engaging in activities that I was not invited to. This usually triggers a negative emotional spiral – they don’t like me, I’m a bad friend, nobody will ever like me, I’m rejected and abandoned and alone, why even bother to reach out. That spiral can last for days…. but this time I was able to stop it -the endless days of spiral, not the immediate hurt of being left out. So progress!
Oh Patricia, your trigger is a really hard and hurtful one although a common one which I think we all suffer from. I guess it stems back from our fear of rejection and beliefs that we aren’t enough. At least you are catching yourself so you don’t allow your beliefs to spiral out of control. It’s a hard belief to work on and change.
Yes! Why is it the throwaway lines that we remember and trigger us? I feel the same when people talk about my work (what I do in the day job) as being real, and my writing career as being a hobby or something I play at. While we know that the meaning comes from within, we don’t always *know* that. And the fact that it triggers in the way it does means that it’s not at all trivial. Well said.
Thank you for reading and supporting my post. I felt weirdly vulnerable confessing to this silly limiting belief as like you say we ‘know’ better within but forget when we hear a comment that triggers us. You must find it really frustrating and hurtful that others perceive your day job as real but not your writing. Being creative and unique is far more real.