This post is part of the #WBOYC link party
Is your life for rent?
What do I mean by this question?
Do you remember the singer Dido from the early 2000’s. One of her top hits was a song entitled Life for Rent (2003). I heard it recently and found the words very poignant for midlife.
When we hit midlife it can begin to feel like we no longer know what we want from life. We have forgotten who we are, what brings us joy and the things that interest us most.
Every decade of our life brings choices and decisions.
Our 20’s might focus on career and work, our 30’s on partners and maybe raising a family. From then on family/adult life can kind of take over until we hit our 50’s and realise we have lost focus and direction. We have effectively rented out our life to our career, family and adult responsibilites.
We no longer recognise our own minds and bodies as home because they have been moulded to fit in with everyone else’s needs.
Now there is absolutely nothing wrong with the choices we may have taken prior to midlife. We were likely very happy and enjoyed every minute.
The start of the new decade of our fifties raises the need for new life choices. But somehow new choices at this stage in our life seem harder to make. We may have got comfortable drifting along, being guided by outside demands.
For others though feelings of being lost, purposeless, or discontented may begin to bubble up triggered by the kids leaving home, a relationship break down or the loss of a parent or loved one. Suddenly we are left realising that we haven’t held onto any of our previous life and dreams.
One of my words of the year is CREATE. This word has reminded me that we need to create the life we want. We need to start buying back the hobbies, interests, friendships and relationships that make us feel alive.
Ready to buy back your life?
So, if you are feeling a bit lost and stuck, here are a couple of tips to get you started on creating the midlife you want:
- If you are feeling particularly stuck and lost and have no idea what you want from life, start making a list of the things you don’t want.
- Once you have a ‘don’t want’ list this will probably help to trigger ideas for the things you do want.
- Reflect back on your younger self. What hobbies did you really enjoy when you were younger?
- When you were a kid, what subjects or sports did you love at school. What games did you play the most with your friends.
- Maybe go through some old photo albums and see what you used to get up to. Which photos bring back the happiest feelings for you?
- What did you dream of doing when you were a kid, teenager or twenty year old?
Collect all your answers together and write them out on a piece of paper. Which items really excite you?
What small steps can you take now to initiate these ideas into your life?
You now have a basic template to get started on creating and buying back your life.
Let me know in the comments below what you are going to buy back into your life.
Don’t forget to check out the other posts in this link party HERE . Thanks to my fellow bloggers for setting up this link party:
Donna from Retirement Reflections
Sue from Women Living Well after 50
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This is a great thought provoking post Janine. I like the idea of a ‘don’t want’ list and then working forward from that. Thanks for joining us for #WBOYC and that Elizabeth Gilbert quote sums it up perfectly and I’m not a huge EG fan usually.
This is a great thought provoking post Janine. I like the idea of a ‘don’t want’ list and then working forward from that. Thanks for joining us for #WBOYC and that Elizabeth Gilbert quote sums it up perfectly and I’m not a huge EG fan usually.
It’s interesting how something random like the words of a song can get the brain thinking about life. I like EG’s quote as it tied in so nicely with my WOTY and is a good reminder to me to get more creative. Thank you for your positive comments x
A great concept – and one that really resonates with me. So much of what we do want can be found in what we dreamt of when we were younger – before we (supposedly) knew better. Thanks for linking up!
Yes, when we are younger we are sometimes much more in touch with our inner dreams before they get distorted or shattered by adulthood. Thanks for your comment.